Captivity
by Loogzuh
Summary: Completely confused, Hermione awakes to find she is taken captive by Draco Malfoy... But why? With her memory obscured and her wand taken from her, things don't look well for the witch... First story, working progress. M for rape and language. Reviews? :D
1. My Awakening

A/N: If you are offended by rape do not read. I will try to update as soon as I can. Enjoy, this is my first story.  
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, quite obviously. :o

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**Captivity**

As I awoke, I immediately felt something cupping my left breast, and something stroking my crotch. Shocked and confused, I knew I could not allow myself to panic; I thought it better to remain calm since I didn't have a clue what was happening. Whatever was holding my breast in place was now gently rubbing it, making me realize what it was to my horror: a rough hand. I barely opened my eyes to see who was doing this to me, and I saw none other than Victor Crabbe to my right and Gregory Goyle sitting next to them.. And I was laying on top of them, both of their laps supporting my back.

Stupid as they were, they continued to look forward, not even noticing my awakening. For the first time I looked around, moving my eyes slowly and not moving my head at all in fear they would notice. It appeared I was in the back seats of a normal Muggle car, and looking upward and to the left I could see platinum-blonde hair at the top of the driver's seat. What the hell was going on?

It was time to find out.

I attempted to move my hands to remove Crabbe and Goyle's repulsive hands off of me, but found they were bound together under my back under some type of invisible rope. Perplexed, I tried the same with my legs. I couldn't move them. I squirmed, and a sound of distress left my throat.

"Crabbe", said a familiar voice coming from the front of the car, "did the Mudblood finally wake?"

"Erm.." Crabbe looked down at my face, I expect I was wearing a very confused expression. I continued to struggle and Crabbe's hand seemed to tighten around my breast. "Yeah, she's awake".

"What the bloody hell-" I was cut off.

"I didn't fucking say you could speak, Mudblood", came Malfoy's harsh voice. "Now, if you want to know what's going on, as I'm sure a know-it-all would want, not knowing anything at all right now..." He snickered. "Well, you're in for some bitter disappointment." I could almost hear the the smile forming across his cruel face.

What _was_ going on? I had to remember. What was the last thing that happened?

Nothing. No memory emerged.

I continued to move, desperate to get Malfoy's sidekicks' hands off of me. Malfoy sighed.

"You idiot. If you continue to squirm back there, you do realize the outcome won't be very good for you? Even if you _could_ break the bonds, which you sure as hell couldn't, you're wandless, Mudblood, defenseless. Vulnerable." He said the last word slowly, as in to take it in himself. I didn't like the way he said it, realizing what his thoughts could be... No. That couldn't be it. That couldn't be the reason he kidnapped me.

I stopped trying to escape after about half a minute, it did seem pointless.. But what else could I do? Continue to lay there, helpless?

Crabbe's took his hand off of my breast and let it travel down my shirt. His big hand, now barely covering the cup of my breast, was now squeezing my left breast very hard, causing me to flinch. Crabbe's hand now reached under my bra and he began squeezing and groping my breast. He moved his hand continuously around it, not missing any place as he applied more and more pressure to his palm. He pinched my nipple with his index finger and thumb, causing me to wince. He squeezed at different speeds and lengthening each pinch, looking at my reaction as he smiled, closing his eyes and then looking forward again.

He didn't have a right to touch me like this. I was utterly repulsed, and I struggled yet again to get away from him.

As if to reinforce my darkest fear, I felt something harden on my back near my binded hands.


	2. Unforeseen Reason

A/N: Hope you enjoy it. Will add next chapter as soon as possible.

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Ch. 2 - Unforeseen Reason

As we neared stopping, I became extremely anxious. For one, why was I brought here in a Muggle car? And more importantly, _why_ was I brought here, what was going to happen to me? The front door opened, and Draco stepped out. He opened the passenger door, and to my surprised started yelling.

"CRABBE! GOYLE!" he screamed furiously. "Get your fucking hands off of the bitch! I told you, she's _mine_, and mine only." Crabbe and Goyle immediately took their hands off of me, something I'd been trying to do the past 20 minutes. I was _Malfoy's_? I found the idea so preposterous I actually laughed, to which Malfoy shot a very disgusted-looking expression in my direction. "You'll pay for that, Mudblood," he spat. "Crabbe, Goyle, follow". They each grabbed one of my arms and took me out of the car, and before Malfoy muttered an incantation that blinded me I saw where I'd been taken to: the Malfoy mansion.

I kicked and thrashed, trying to get away without success. I tried to scream, but found out my voice had been silenced. There was nothing I could do but struggle, and Crabbe and Goyle's strength made my attempts of resistance futile. Fear started to arise in my thoughts, but I knew I could not let that fact be known. A show of weakness from me would only make Malfoy happier and more excited, he'd always been power-hungry.. But this was taking it to the extreme, even for him. I heard the sound of doors opening and closing but not really listening as I was being dragged by Malfoy's goons. So many different emotions were pulsing through me I couldn't begin to sort them out, trying to think of a logical reason why Malfoy would bring me here. I was being drug over a set of stairs, still struggling without telling my body to, when Malfoy snorted. "Granger, stop struggling. It's absolutely POINTLESS. You're exactly where I want you and you aren't going anywhere."

It seemed to be minutes until anyone spoke again, how the hell was this place so enormous?

"This way," I heard Malfoy say, "in here. That's right."

When his words hit me, I realized we had reached the destination; whatever was going to happen to me was going to happen here. Hair started to raise itself on the back of my neck and arms, and I started to think of what I could do, coming up with absolutely nothing. I was wandless. I couldn't even remember what had happened before I woke up in a Muggle car with these three pieces of scum. I had to remember something, _anything_...

The second I was thrust onto the floor I could see again. I stood up quickly and looked around, surveying the room. It was very dungeon-like, but not at all like Snape's dungeon class room or a place to make potions. This was the type of dungeon found on Muggle films, I had seen plenty on my Muggle parents' TV. There were large cuffs obviously for somebody's wrists and ankles, somebody in a spread-eagle position, chains, ropes, and a silver tray full of objects I couldn't see because of its distance from me.

"Leave," Malfoy told his assistants. I became absolutely terrified as I saw Malfoy close the door, leaving just him and I in the room.

As he took a step forward to me with a smirk on his face, I took one backward. No, I couldn't do that again. I had to look strong in front of him, show him he didn't intimidate me at all. I had to show him courage that he undoubtably knew I didn't have. I refused to be weak, especially in front of Malfoy. I knew this was going to be uncomprehensively difficult because of the way he held himself, his head held high, confidence along with it. Malfoy had grown a great deal in the past few years, for we were now in our 7th year at Hogwarts and he had continued to grow to around 6'2" while I was merely 5'4".

"Wh-what do you want? Why.. Why have you taken me h-here?" I stammered, immediately embarassed by the way my voice quavered.

He stared at her with a look of astonishment. "Is that not so blatantly _obvious_, Hermione?" he asked sarcastically. "I assumed the 'Smartest Witch of the Century' would have figured that out by now," making quotation marks in the air with two fingers from each hand.

I simply stood, expressionless. Malfoy never referred to me with my first name...

"Ugh, you stupid Mudblood," he continued, obviously not satisfied with my reaction, "I've been dropping hints ever since fourth year, hoping you would fucking notice! But no, Granger, you either didn't see any of them or completely ignored them." He then sighed, closed his eyes, and put a hand on his head, running through his slick hair and then opening his eyes once again.

I was still utterly confused, and I didn't have any idea how to respond to Malfoy's frustration. If I said something he didn't want to hear, he could easily pull out a wand and... I couldn't think of that, the possibilities and the things he could do to me alone in this room. I had to keep the conversation going. I crossed my arms, trying to gain part of my lost confidence back, and in response I said, "I really don't know what you're going off about Malfoy, maybe explaining what the hell is going on would -"

"Granger, the urge is getting too strong. I'm not staying away from you any longer." And with that, he closed the space inbetween us and to my disgust, forced his lips against mine.


	3. Repulsion

A/N: And so the story continues. If you're reading this, would you mind reviewing? I've only got two right now and so far I love getting them, ha. As always, I will update whenever I can.

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Ch. 3 - Repulsion

What was the prat playing at, just kissing me like he did?

After he had kissed me, he had simply smirked, walked out of the room, and said "I'll be back very soon, perhaps for a little fun, mmm?", raising his eyebrows and then smiling at me. I spat on the ground, and he had laughed! He had the nerve to laugh at me while he knew I was in God-knows-where part of his mansion, cold, confused, and wondering what the hell was going to happen to me!

And so he had left me alone, on the floor, and I had found my way to the furthest corner of the dimly lit room. It was about half an hour later and I didn't know what to do with myself. Waiting and doing absolutely nothing was so hard for me, I felt like I was wasting time sitting with my arms wrapped around my legs just trying to stay warm. The door had been locked, naturally I'd checked that first, and the only light I could see were candles lit in the room.

Wait.. _candles_. The word brought back a faint memory. I had been in the Great Hall earlier. Yes, I remember. Saying goodbye to Harry and Ron, for they were staying at Hogwarts for the Christmas Holiday and I was going home to my parents.. And so was Malfoy. He had been snickering with some of his friends at the Slytherin table, looking at me and laughing. I rolled my eyes and flipped them off, I'd been putting up with their nonsense for way too long. He merely stared at me with his eyebrows raised and a grin on his face, similar to how he had just left me.. And that was it. My memory would go on no further. This was _so_ frustrating. I had to remember more.

"Hello, Granger," said an all too familiar voice. I hadn't heard him open the door and walk in, I'd been too enveloped in the single memory that came back, trying to make sense of it. I closed my eyes and put my head between my knees. He had kissed me earlier, and being alone with him now terrified me down to my very core.

"I said hello, Granger. It's only polite to reply. But you know nothing about manners, do you, Mudblood?" he continued, walking towards me. "I want to have some fun Granger, I've been fantasizing about this for a very long time, and you gave me the perfect opportunity today to finally have the chance. And look where we are now."

Goose bumps formed everywhere on my body, and it had nothing to do with the cold.

Malfoy was now crouched beside me, staring at me straight in the eye, trying to hide yet another smile from forming across his face. He took one of his hands and gently touched my face, to which I slapped away at once.

"Do. Not. Touch. Me," I told him with a look of determination. "Leave me alone. Be a bastard to someone else." To my relief, my voice sounded more secure than I felt.

He stood and laughed softly, shaking his head slowly. "Oh, this'll be fun..." he muttered under his breath.

Suddenly I was pinned on the wall, and a gasp escaped my mouth. Malfoy's hands held my wrists on the wall, the rest of his body pressed against mine. Before I could react, I felt his mouth on mine again, and his tongue was plunged down my throat. I turned my head the other way, closing my eyes and refusing to kiss him back.

"Mudblood," he said. "Mudblood, look at me." I refused to open my eyes and look at him, I was shaking in fear. If this lead to.. No. It couldn't. I'm a virgin, he can't take that from me. He wouldn't.

Malfoy was becoming impatient. "If you don't fucking look at me, you're going to regret it. Do you realize what I could do to you, all the torture I could put you through in this room, just you and me in here together?"

I felt his warm breath on the left side of my face. He really could put me through so much more than this. If there was any chance of it progressing further than this, I had to avoid it. I opened my eyes and turned my head back to face him, quivering in fear. His eyes stared into mine for a few moments, and then he spoke again.

"Good girl. Now. If you don't respond to my kiss, all sorts of bad things will find their way to you."

He put his lips on mine again, and began kissing me fervently. I couldn't see any solution, and not wanting to be harmed, I kissed him back. I wanted to cry already, having to kiss Malfoy sprung such hatred to myself I didn't know what to do with it. Malfoy moaned, pressing his body harder against mine.

And then, suddenly, he stopped kissing me. Relief washed over me, only to be replaced with more fear as he said, "I think you need a spanking."

"WHAT?", I yelled loudly, "how can you be so -"

"Shhh," he told me, covering my mouth with his left hand, starting to smile _again_. The second that my right arm was free, I slapped him as hard as I could across the face, and, taken aback by my sudden slap, he released my left wrist as well. I sprinted towards the door, expecting Malfoy to catch me in an instant, but running, I heard only one pair of feet on the ground, and, oh my God. I was at the door. Malfoy wasn't touching me, wasn't pulling me back. I turned the doorknob and... Of course, it was locked. The adrenaline that pumped through my veins seconds before began to disappear. After fumbling with the door another few moments, I slowly turned back to Malfoy. That was the only way to escape the room, and my hopes of getting out were crushed.

He was standing exactly where I left him, his face beaming as he started to walk towards me, wand out.


	4. Unclear

A/N: Hmm, don't have much to say, other than review please! :P

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Ch. 4 - Unclear

A wave of panic hit me hard. I kept my footing, not wanting to show Malfoy my weakness. He had already seen my vulnerability and shown his power over me by pinning me to the wall, but I couldn't allow him to do that again. Of all the things that I'd gone through with Harry and Ron, the thought of being here alone with Malfoy, possibly being raped, frightened me greater than anything else that had ever happened to me.

I felt totally helpess. My wand had always been my safety net, I had it with me at all times, even in the summer. But now as Malfoy was advancing across the room I realized I had to try something different rather than sulk about my lost wand; sulking would not get me my wand back. The first thing that came to me was begging, but I knew that wouldn't help me at all and would probably provoke Malfoy into doing whatever he was going to do to me quicker. As Malfoy continued to advance across the room the only other thing I could think of was to make conversation. I did need information, and surely talking would slow him down in some way, whether it be pace or actions toward me. I took one step forward.

"Draco," I said with clarity.

He stopped in his tracks, wand pointed at my chest. "Mudblood, don't ever say my name unless I tell you to. And don't worry Granger, you'll have plenty of time for that. You'll be screaming it later."

I winced at the thought, but I knew I would have to continue talking. "You told me earlier 'I'm not staying away from you any longer.'"

He continued to walk towards me with an annoyed expression on his face. "Yeah, point being?" he retorted.

It didn't make any sense. "Well... It just seems like saying that, it sounds like you _like_ me or something. Like you care about me and-"

Malfoy cut me off. "I thought it was obvious I have a strong dislike for you. Granger, how can you be so idiotic?" He paused for a moment, and then continued, "oh, wait, that's right, how could I forget? Mudbloods are idiots." He smirked, clearly thinking he had come up with a clever remark.

"Then could you kindly explain why the hell you have me in _your dungeon_, kissing me and forcing me to do the same to you?"

He was now standing right in front of me, and I could smell the cologne on his shirt and feel his breath when he exhaled. We stood there a few seconds, staring the other one down as we had before. Then he forcefully put his left arm around my back, pulling me closer to him. I inhaled sharply but I didn't resist; his wand was still ready to strike at any moment. He raised the weapon in his right hand, and I flinched preparing for a spell to be shot, but he simply pushed my hair back from my left ear with it.

"No," he whispered quietly.

I felt something sharp and hot below my neck, and by the time I looked down to see what it was I was pinned to the wall again. He had sent a spell at me, and now my arms were above my head and I couldn't move them. My back ached from the force of the spell against the closeness of the wall, the impact had hurt me greatly. Every breath I took seemed to sharpen the pain. I looked back at Malfoy with the dirtiest look I could muster, and he smiled back. He put his wand away, and came as close as he could to me, leaning against the wall with his right hand next to my head, staring straight at me.

"Hmm... What to do to you first?" he seemed to be in deep thought, smirking that same smug smile he always had on his face.

Goose bumps appeared on my body yet again, but I knew I had to be strong. "I know. Take this spell off of me, and give me my wand like a respectable wizard would?"

"Not a chance," he replied instantly. "I'm having too much fun."

And with that, he kissed me again. Both of his hands were on my face, forcing my head to stay where it was as he explored my mouth with his tongue. He shoved it down my throat as far as he could, ignoring my sounds of protest. He continued to kiss me for what seemed like an entire ten minutes, and I immediately felt butterflies in my stomach as one of his hands left my face and brought its way to my left thigh. I tried to get his hand off of me by kicking, but his entire body was pressed against mine and he overpowered my efforts easily. He finally broke the kiss.

"I'm going to see how tight you are, Mudblood," he told me. His face told me he liked my expression as it turned into another smirk.

I was so afraid, no one had _ever_ touched me there before, and I couldn't even get a tampon to fit. I could only imagine the pain as he slid his hand up my skirt. When he discovered I had a pair of shorts under my skirt, he frowned. Taking out his wand, they quickly disappeared.

"Now _that's_ better," he said simply, looking at my terrified face.

"Please, please don't..." I had to resort to begging, something I had previously acknowledged would not help me at all.

Acting as if he hadn't heard me, Malfoy slid two fingers under my panties and rested them just outside my entrance. He looked at my eyes again, and forced them in. A soft cry left my mouth, he was hurting me badly already and this had just been two fingers.

"Two, Granger? You can't even handle two?" he said, bewildered. "I guess I'm not really that surprised, all you ever do is study, guess you wouldn't get any action." He kept taking his fingers out and putting them back in, over, and over, and over, the pain not ceasing.

"Please, stop.. Please, Malfoy... " I whimpered.

He stared at me in disbelief.

He took his fingers out once again, and slapped me across the face.

"I told you, you piece of filth, don't fucking say my name."


	5. Hate & Tears

A/N: According to spellcheck and FireFox, "unmendable" is not a word. Oh well, I say it is. :D

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Ch. 5 - Hate & Tears

People say "I hate you" to each other every day without thinking about it, just as people say "I love you". You can like somebody, and tell them you love them, and you can dislike somebody, and tell them you hate them, believing that's how you really feel. However, people who truly love somebody know it is entirely different than the occasional "I love you". It is a feeling that takes over your entire mind-frame and the feeling consumes you inside and out. This, I knew now, was exactly the same as with the phrase "I hate you".

I hated Draco Malfoy. I hated him more than I'd ever hated anything. If there was any way possible I could hurt him back, I would do it impulsively, naturally. He repulsed me. His every glance my way made me sick. If I could have anything in the world right now, I wouldn't say "to be at home", I wouldn't say "to be back at Hogwarts". No. The single utmost thing that was going through my mind was "to get away from Malfoy".

As I was against the wall, Malfoy was tearing into my soul, my very essence. He was mentally lacerating my mind into unmendable pieces. My every whimper made him move in and out of me faster, and threatening me with more pain than I was going in, made me yell out his name. The pain was excruciating, and I found myself drifting off into a world where I wasn't here, being raped. I thought of Hogwarts, thought of my friends. Harry and Ron were probably searching for information on more Horcruxes, and I was here, in so much pain. I felt tears running down my face, and my mind continued to wander, not wanting to face reality and believe what was happening to me was real. I was brought back to earth by Malfoy's voice.

"Are you enjoying this, Mudblood?" he panted.

I didn't answer. I closed my eyes and continued to suffer in silence. I felt one of his hands travel under my shirt, under my bra, squeezing as he continued to thrust. The pain didn't stop. I only hoped his climax would come soon, and as I thought this a new pang of hatred swept through me. I was just like a garbage bin to him, something he could dump his seed in. I continued to cry as his thrusts quickened, and he moaned as his climax neared. He yelled out and continued shoving inside of me, and I felt something new, foreign, inside of me. He then he slowed down, still riding out his orgasm. He then stopped altogether.

"Oh, you weak little thing," he said in a tone of disapproval, much like what a parent would say scolding their child. "You're _crying_." He was still inside me, and he slowly pulled out. "Pathetic," he muttered. He zipped his pants and looked into my eyes. Turning to walk away, Malfoy snapped his fingers and my wrists were no longer on the wall.

I fell to the ground and caught myself with my hands.

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_"Harry, Harry!" I yelled. I could see him across the terrain, he was a Quidditch field away. I ran towards him._

_As he turned around, he smiled. "Hey, Hermione!" he yelled back. He started to run towards me as well._

_We met in the middle, and hugged. I was crying out of sheer joy. I was hugging Harry, my best friend. He would never let me go to harm. I'd gone through so much, suffered through something no one would have to suffer through. He would care, he would be there for me. The hug was ending, but I didn't want it to end. I wanted to stay there forever, embracing the one thing that guaranteed me security..._

My eyes opened.

I closed them again, trying to relive the dream, relive my moments of sheer happiness. I pounded my fist against the ground in anger and frustration. I suppose I was so miserable my mind had to give me some sort of happiness, and putting me in another world in a dream seemed to be the only way to do that.. _Why_ did I have to be put through this? Out of everyone Malfoy chose to 'fantasize' about as he had said before, he picked me. Any other girl would have sufficed, in fact, any other girl probably would have _agreed_ to have sex with him, but instead he chooses to rape _me_. Hatred pulsed through my veins once more, and I scowled.

Malfoy's actions didn't make sense to me. When he had told me before he wasn't staying away from me... It seemed so.. So much like he was trying to be charming. As if he was trying to tell me he liked me, as he had brought up before. But his words and actions showed me my assumptions were wrong: You wouldn't be so entirely cruel to someone you liked, would you? And not only cruel, but to _rape_ somebody you liked, that was taking it to another level... Perhaps I misinterpreted his intentions before, that seemed to be the only explanation.

I moved my body to the side, uncomfortable in my previous laying position. I was cold, and something wet was on me.. _Blood. _Of course it was, I had been a virgin. My inner thighs ached with pain as I moved my legs.

I would have to sleep again, the memories of what Malfoy did to me were flashing through my head again, every touch, every feeling... The only good news was I was alone. For how long, I didn't know, but this very moment, I was alone. I was away from the one person I hated so incredibly much, and that was all that mattered.


	6. Puzzle Pieces

A/N: Sorry I didn't have this written yesterday or earlier today. Christmas Holidays and such.

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Ch. 6 - Puzzle Pieces

The creak of the door awoke me.

I immediately crawled to the nearest corner, tears forming in my eyes again. I wanted to be alone, away from this monster, away from the things he did to me. I closed my eyes and hid my face in my hair and knees, cowering back in the corner. There was no point in acting strong now, Malfoy knew I wasn't. He knew I was helpless. As I heard his footsteps coming towards me, I pressed my back against the wall, getting as far away as possible from him. I knew it was just a matter of seconds before he was in front of me, insulting me, hurting me again. My tears overflowed from my eyes and ran down my cheeks.

I heard a clank, something metal being put on the ground. I refused to see what the noise was; fear started to arise in me again, caused by the unknown object. It was probably something to put me through even more pain. I shuddered at the thought, and then I heard somebody sigh.

"Granger," Malfoy said. I didn't look up.

"You need to eat," he told me. He shoved whatever the metal thing was close to me, and I barely raised my head to see it was a tray full of food. My mouth instantly watered, I was definitely hungry, but not hungry enough to eat food _he_ provided. I looked at him through my hair, my eyes barely raised above my knees.

He sighed again. "Hermione, there are things you don't understand. Trust me..." he said softly. I saw him close his eyes, clearly regretting saying 'trust me', and I didn't blame him for that one. There was no way in hell I was ever going to trust him after he destroyed me the way he did. "Look. Just eat," he continued. "I know you won't understand until I can tell you what's going on. You're confused. I know. Just eat, Granger, and..." He hesitated. "Know I wouldn't.. I wouldn't rape you." A look of.. Sympathy [_Sympathy_? No.. Concern, worry?] crossed his face, and with that he turned to walk out.

When he got to the door, he turned around to me again. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but closed it again and shut the door.

One thing made sense with what Malfoy had to say: I'm confused. Hah, duh. I'd never been more confused in my life. He had said he wouldn't rape me, which meant one of three things. The most obvious one, he was lying to me and trying to gain my trust for some reason. He didn't need my trust, he never had it in the first place, so that didn't seem logical. My next idea seemed ridiculous to me... Split-personality? He gone from being "normal" cruel to insane cruel, but the idea of a split-personality was stupid to me. The most likely reason seemed to be that Malfoy was under the Imperius Curse. Hmm, that had to be it. It explained the sudden changes.. He could be fighting it, being more successful at some times than others. But it really was _so frustrating _not knowing for a fact or not. I had to put all of the pieces together, every clue.

I thought about this for quite some time, and I found myself becoming sleepy again. Just as I was about to drift off, the sound of the door opening alerted me and I was instantly awake. Footsteps came toward me again, and I buried my face even further inbetween my knees, closing my eyes and hoping everything would somehow be okay.

"You haven't touched anything. _Eat_," he told me loudly. When I didn't budge, it seemed as though he had sat next to me. Taken completely by surprise, I gasped, looked up only to find his pale face next to me, and tried to crawl away as quickly as possible.

He grabbed my ankle before I got too far, and pulled me closer to him. His hands were now at the back of my knee, my thigh... Shivers ran through my body as mental images resurfaced in my head. He then took my arm and pulled me face-to-face with him as I kept trying to get away from him.

"Why--do you--have to be--so--damn stubborn?" he managed to get out, having trouble keeping me there next to him, grabbing my wrists to prevent me from escaping.

"Just get the fuck off me and leave me alone," I told him, quivering. I spat on his face.

"Fucking..." he wiped it off of his cheek, and looked at me with disgust. "Mudblood, I'm trying to fucking help you. The least you can do is appreciate my effort." He stared at me for a moment, then slid the tray with more strength than necessary at my leg.

"Ow," I muttered. I returned his look of disgust, and kicked the tray a foot away from me.

"You eat, and I'll leave," he said. I didn't look at him. Maybe poisoning me was his idea of a good time. "Look," he continued. "I'll eat part of it if you want."

He took a piece of bread and took a bite of it, and I could feel his eyes on my face as I looked forward, not watching him.

"Eat," he repeated. I didn't move.

"Fine," he said, clearly annoyed. "Fuck it."

He got up to leave, and stared down at me. He walked across the room, and turned around to look at me once again. "I hope you know you're screwing yourself over. It's not _my_ fault you're in this state of mind."

He was in the middle of closing the door when I said, "I hate you, you know," loud enough for him to hear. The door stopped mid-way, and then shut completely.

A few minutes after he closed the door, I thought things over, and reluctantly took a bite of bread. I had always loved puzzles and things no one could figure out. My best bet was an Imperius Curse, and even believing I had the right answer I was not completely satisfied. There was something else, something missing from the equation. I had to figure it out, I _had_ to know the truth.

When I fell asleep, I relived the nightmare that I knew would be haunting me for the rest of my life.


	7. I'm Sorry

A/N: I keep trying to make my chapters longer, but I always hit a good stopping-cliff hanger point sooner than I intend to, the chapters are only about 1100 words each. Sorry. Lame title for this one, heh.  


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Ch. 7 - I'm Sorry

My sudden intake of air awoke me, the pictures of horror still flashing through my mind. I rubbed my eyes, and rolled over onto something soft. Picking it up, I realized it was a pile of fresh, clean clothes. I wanted and needed to change, but a part of my stubbornness stayed intact as I knew these clothes were from none other than Malfoy. I needed to change, and yet part of me said no: I didn't want to give in, to acknowledge I needed _his_ help. But I knew I had to be sensible, making myself miserable for the sake of showing Malfoy how stubborn I was when in need of help was actually pathetic. I sighed, and began to change.

Sitting in the corner of a dungeon with nothing to do but think and with no one other than yourself was a pretty miserable thing to be put through for hours, and I sat in my new clothes, absentmindedly scraping the wall with a fingernail. I didn't have any sense of time and had no idea how long I'd been in here, and I was, without a doubt, simply bored. The only thing I could do was think about the mystery I was in and go through the horror of my rape again, analyzing everything he'd said and everything I had felt. It was extremely difficult not to think about the rape, images kept coming back to me, sounds, the hatred...

Never hearing anything outside the room, I had assumed the room was sound-proof and I would never be able to hear anything outside of it. However, I realized I had apparently been quite wrong, as I could hear two voices yelling at each other just outside of it. The voices were muffled, though, and I couldn't make any of the words out. I strained my ears, trying to listen.

Deciding hearing the argument would be better than sitting here trying to understand it, I stood up, and my legs felt like jelly for a few seconds. I hadn't stood in quite some time, and it seemed almost foreign to my legs as I dragged my body across the dungeon, the yelling becoming louder. When I was finally across the room, I sat back down next to the door, my back to the wall. I placed my right ear against the wall in an attempt to hear better, and I only wished I had walked to the wall sooner, as the conversation was at its end.

"... don't care. It's my decision to make, Father, not yours!" I heard Malfoy yell. _Father_? Oh, great. I suppose I should have assumed Lucius knew I was in his mansion, but the reality of it just now hit me.. My mind never thought of others knowing I was here, for the only ones I cared about knowing would never know and the thought of others as bad as Malfoy knowing I was helpless in a room alone only sent me into more frightened spirits.

"Yes, it is your decision, Draco, but you're making the poorest choice you could possibly make. You're becoming as bad as the blood traitors now," Lucius spat.

To my surprise, the door opened. Draco slid in, and slammed the door shut. His eyes immediately shot to the corner I had been at before, and a rush of panic appeared in his eyes as he surveyed the room before looking straight down and to the left. I could tell he was relieved to find me. He crouched down next to me, never taking his eyes off me. Uncomfortable, I scooted slowly away from him.

"You were listening, were you?" he asked me. I couldn't read his expression.

"I... I only heard the very last bit," I told him honestly.

I cringed as he sat right next to me, his right leg bent, his knee supporting his arm. We sat in silence for a full minute, and Malfoy seemed to be unsure what to say. Even with his wand in his pocket, completely clean and as arrogant-looking as usual, Malfoy didn't seem nearly as confident as he usually did. Perhaps it was his father's insult that stripped his confidence from him, or maybe it was something else. I decided to break the silence.

"Cat got your tongue?" I asked sarcastically. I didn't care if my words were uncaring, I still hated him with a passion.

"Oy, shut up Granger," he told me, clearly annoyed.

I suppose I did choose a poor choice of words if I intended on getting anything out of him. While I did want him to leave, the thought of being alone, bored, not finding out anything new bothered me and the argument with Lucius had my curiosity. I decided to break the silence.

"What did you mean before, you wouldn't rape me, when you.. Did?" I asked, hopeful he'd reply with an honest answer.

"Can't tell you that," he answered.

"But _why_ can't you tell me?"

"I just can't, Granger. Knowing will probably make things worse for you anyway, you don't want to know. Ask me something else if you must."

Fine. "What about the argument with you and -"

He cut me off. "Not that, either." I saw his hands form into fists as he tightened them. Obviously it was a touchy subject, but I had to know at least _something_.

"Look Malfoy," I said, extremely annoyed. "I don't know what the hell is going on, and I want to know, I _need_ to know. I woke up in a car, dragged in this room, I've been raped, and given no information as to why, and you're here, telling me you wouldn't do the things you already did. Now, how am I suppose to make sense of any of this madness?" I told him this all in one breath, my frustration rising.

He looked at me, his face expressionless. He seemed to take a while to come up with a decent reply, but when he finally spoke it was not what I was expecting him to say.

"I'm sorry," I heard him whisper.


	8. Need for Answers

A/N: Oh lookie, some of you were right! :O Haha. There still is another mystery to this though, shouldn't be too hard to figure out in my opinion. Keep the reviews comin'. They make me write faster. =P

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Ch. 8 - Need for Answers

"You're sorry," I repeated. He looked at me, his right hand in his hair. "And which one of the many things that's happened to me are you apologizing for?"

He stared at me, hesitating. He obviously didn't want to give away too much. "For taking you here.. It was a very selfish thing to do," he said.

Selfish? "Not exactly the word I would have picked," I said. Stupid, masochistic, or without reason would have been more like it.

He closed his eyes and sighed. "You don't know how hard it is for me to even try to explain to you what's going on. Hell, it's confusing even for me.. God, I'm so _stupid_, I never should have taken you here..."

I was so annoyed with Malfoy's resistance to telling me anything. Did he think I wouldn't be able to take it, I shouldn't know what had been going on, or he was he actually being honest in telling me the truth is actually hard for him..? I didn't want to put my guard down, the nightmare-like memories always coming back into my mind constantly reminded me he was not to be trusted. And yet, a part of me actually wanted to believe him. The thought of that horrified me; this was exactly what he'd want if he planned on hurting me again. I watched Malfoy struggle for words, his hands on his forehead, his head facing down.

"Look..." he finally said. "There's a very good chance you're going to be harmed further. Tortured possibly, even a chance of death, and I don't know.." he trailed off, seemingly unable to speak any more.

I was at a loss for words, and I merely stared at him with unbelieving eyes. I didn't know if I should believe him, but as his words sunk in I could see my hands shaking with fear, more fear than I could remember ever having experienced. My eyes fell to the cold floor. I couldn't accept it, but I knew denial would not help me. Denying what Malfoy had just told me would would make me feel better now, but later it would only make it worse. But how could I be put through more than I'd already gone through? How could Malfoy just sit there, next to me, and tell me I'm going to be tortured and possibly killed?

_Stupid question. _Malfoy has always hated me, I already knew that. He could probably sit through hours of watching me being Crucio'd, laughing at me. And yet I knew he had been strangely kinder after my rape, I never thought of his not-as-insanely-cruel actions toward me as kind, but for Malfoy, it definitely had been. I knew that was one of the reasons I had thought he was under the influence of the Imperius Curse, and now, sitting next to me, he seemed to be almost sympathetic towards me, like he truly was sorry.

It had been silent as my thoughts were being processed, but I was getting absolutely frustrated with the lack of information given to me. I chose to break the silence. I was finding out anything I could.

"Why don't you take me out of here, then?" I whispered.

"It's not that easy, Granger," he said.

Why was every answer given to me so useless? Every time I asked him a question, he seemed to avoid an explanation and he gave me the simplest answer possible, only frustrating me greater.

"Why isn't it?" I asked, looking at his face now. He was about to speak, but I spoke instead. "Let me guess, you can't tell me. Well you know what Malfoy, what the hell _can_ you tell me? There's absolutely no way you could understand what I'm going through right now, and all I want is an explanation as to why all this is happening. The truth. You might as well not even answer any of my questions if you're going to reply with the rubbish you're telling me."

He stood up, and I followed suit.

"Fine, Granger, I won't answer your questions then," he said uncaringly. He was about to open the door when, to my astonishment, I grabbed the sleeve of his robe. Surprised, he turned around to look at me, a look of confusion across his face.

I let go of his sleeve, but continued to look at him. "Malfoy, please don't leave me alone without any answers again," I pleaded.

He looked at the sleeve where I touched him for a moment. "Fine," he muttered under his breath.

We both sat on the hard floor again. I didn't know whether to be afraid or not, but I wasn't. For once in my life, Malfoy seemed to be on _my_ side, and even with my instincts screaming at me to get away from him I knew I sought answers beyond anything, and the one thing I needed an answer to the most was the rape, and praying he would reply with a decent explanation, I asked the question.

"Could... Could you explain the rape?" I asked. He looked at me, and I could tell he saw a pleading expression on my face as he turned his head away from me. He sighed.

"You want to know the truth, Granger, do you?" he replied, not making eye contact with me. "Fine then.. You'll regret knowing. It was my father, with a flask of Polyjuice Potion. Once he had discovered I'd taken you here, he was furious at me, you being a Mudblood and all.. Absolutely furious. He believes even stronger than I do that you lot should be killed, being put through painful deaths." He paused, and I felt his eyes wander to my face, but I was utterly petrified. _Draco's father raped me. Draco's father raped me._ "He made me immobile," he shivered, paused again, and then continued, "and told me he was going to put you through something that was going to hurt you for the rest of your life. When he came out of the room, well, _here,_ he told me what he'd done and said what I planned on doing could no longer be done."

It was amazing what little words somebody could say that could hurt somebody else so greatly. A simple explanation, exactly what I wanted, and yet I felt more empty than ever. He finally told me, but it was quick, sudden. I asked the question, and he had answered and given me an answer worth believing, not what I expected. I wasn't mentally ready for the real answer, and it hit me like nothing else could have.

I couldn't speak. There was a lump in my throat, and my eyes were getting puffy. I unsuccessfully tried to hold back the tears, but they suddenly came pouring out of my eyes, and I covered my face with my hands. All I could think of was Lucius Malfoy and how he was the one who raped me, and I sat in the floor of the cold room crying for as long as I could, Malfoy sitting next to me the entire time.

"What.. What did-did you 'plan on doing'?" I managed to get out after some period of time.

"What? Oh... Granger, that bit of information will have to wait," he told me. I looked at his face again, and he looked apologetic.

He stood up suddenly and looked at me again. "I apologize for anything else you're going to have to go through, Hermione... I'll tell them to be as light as possible, I will." I looked forward, not wanting to understand his words. He crouched down next to me, and took his thumb and index finger and grabbed my chin, pulling my face toward his.

"Be strong," he told me.

I didn't want him to go.

When he shut the door behind him, a fresh surge of tears seeped out of my unblinking eyes.


	9. When Mercy Means Nothing

A/N: I apologize that this chapter doesn't seem to have much explanation to the story, I'm sure you all wanted to know things that aren't mentioned here, but this chapter does have significance and I did try to make it a bit longer than usual, so enjoy.

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Ch. 9 - When Mercy Means Nothing

As Draco left, I could feel something terrible was going to find me hiding alone in this room. The room had always been cold, but now every inch of my skin seemed to be abnormally freezing, almost as if the room had dropped twenty degrees. I couldn't stop shivering, and I didn't know what I could do. If what he said was true, I was sure to feel more pain than ever in a matter of time.

I had retreated to the farthest corner after Malfoy left me alone, as I feared the next person walking through the door would be somebody who wished to cause me harm. As I thought this, my heart plunged to the ground and I stopped breathing, for the door had began to creak its way open. I pushed myself even further into the corner, trying to make myself as small as possible.

"Father... Please don't do this.." I heard Draco pleading from outside the door.

"My, my, my, even our own son, Narcissa, is weaker than I thought," Lucius crooned. "He seems to have even resorted to _begging_. Stop this nonsense, Draco."

_Lucius_. The man who raped me. The man who caused me so much pain was standing outside the door, the man I feared and hated beyond anybody else in the world. The last thing I wanted was for him to walk in here. Please Draco, please don't let him..

"Father!" Draco continued. "She's not like the others! I swear it, she's--"

"Stop your pathetic pleads!" a familiar voice shouted. "You, a pureblood, should be asking us to kill the girl, not spare her of what she deserves! I daresay I am ashamed of you, Draco." My skin crawled. There was no doubt in my mind that the voice belonged to no other than Bellatrix Lestrange.

"Draco," Lucius spoke again, "she deserves what's coming to her. Seeing as you, for some odd reason I cannot comprehend, do not want her killed, I will spare her life for you." He was looking at Draco with disapproval. "For now," he added.

Lucius, Narcissa, and Bellatrix all stepped into the room, leaving Draco on the other side of the door. Why didn't he come inside, too? If he was going to give up his dignity and beg his father not to kill someone whom they all thought had 'dirty blood', why was stepping into the room and trying to stop them from succeeding such a different thing to do? Maybe he truly was as much as a coward as I had always suspected...

The door shut unexpectedly, causing me to flinch in surprise.

"Look at the little Mudblood, cowering in a corner!" Bellatrix said in a baby voice. She then let out a high, shrilled laugh, and looked at me as though a smile had been permanently etched onto her face.

"We aren't wasting time, Bellatrix," Lucius started. I chanced a look at the witch; she seemed upset by Lucius's remark. "Now, Mudblood," he continued. "For unusual reasons my son has brought you here, a very stupid impulsive decision on his behalf. We've offered to kill you for him to get rid of the problem you possess to him, but obviously as you have just seen, he doesn't want us to even touch you. This was not only an extremely insulting gesture, as you are a _Mud_blood and we are _pure_bloods, but seeing as the Dark Lord has always encouraged us to inflict as much pain as possible to Potter's friends, here we are." He smiled at his last sentence, clearly happy.

"We have already informed the Potter child in an inconspicuous manner that you were killed painfully and I expect he is off somewhere, trying to avenge you already," Lucius continued, and with this being said, he chuckled softly. "Simply for my son's sake, however, I will not kill you today. But that does not mean I will cease the pain that will come to you, I assure you, you will be begging for death but I shan't give it to you." He smiled again, and his wife and Bellatrix joined him. Lucius put his hand inside his pocket, and drew his wand, pointing it right at me.

"Crucio!" Lucius yelled.

It felt as though thousands upon thousands of pointed, searing hot knives pierced every inch of my body. I was forced on the ground, laying on my side, withering in pain. The only thought going through my mind was _do not scream._ It was exactly what they wanted, and I bit my tongue as an effort to resist the temptation of showing them what I was going through.

Then, a couple seconds later, the pain stopped. I was still on the ground, not wanting to move, the aftereffects pounding my skull.

"Hmm, _obviously_ Lucius here wants to go easy on the girl!" Bellatrix laughed. "Just because Draco doesn't want her dead, doesn't mean we can't have a little fun, Lucius!"

"I think if you would have given my curse a few more moments time, you would have found I was _not_ in fact 'going easy' on the girl, Bellatrix," Lucius replied hastily.

"Oh, whatever you say, Lucius," Bellatrix replied. "CRUCIO!" she yelled.

The same sensation exploded through my body, and the pain was unimaginable. I could feel my hands and arms moving and twisting, unable to find escape from the pain. I could feel my eyes wanting to roll back into my head as my body twitched relentlessly, and the knives tearing into my body were penetrating my skin deeper and deeper. Every second rolling by seemed like an eternity, and I tasted blood in my mouth; I still refused to scream despite what my body was telling me to do. Every fiber of my being told me to yell out, scream, and that would somehow cease this unbearable pain, but I wouldn't allow it. The torture was becoming even worse, the knives even deeper in my skin, the tips on fire..

Then, the pain suddenly stopped.

I gasped for air as my body was aching with pain, not a part of my body spared, and my head felt like it had been split into two. I remained on the ground, eyes closed, relief washing through my body as my mind was telling itself the pain had stopped.

"Do you believe me now, Bellatrix?" I heard Lucius ask.

"How... How can she resist screaming? I do not understand it!" Bellatrix said with awe in her voice.

"It makes no difference. Look at her on the ground. She is still weak, she still feels the pain." Narcissa had spoken for the first time.

I was once again Crucio'd, once again put through the flames of the knives. I started to look at death in a new light as time wore on, it seemed so much easier than having to go through with this torture, peaceful even. I did not scream, but opened my eyes to find my vision obscured. I could not see, I had no reason to live, anyway... All I could think of was the pain. The pain seemed endless, I couldn't see the bright side in anything, dying was so appealing... And then an image of Harry and Ron flooded my mind, and I continued to look at them inside of my mind, and found my reason to keep going. They were why I had to go through with the torture, they were the reason I was living. It was the only thing that got me through it, the thought of Ron and Harry.

I tried to escape into another world, relive memories that were brought by the thought of my best friends, but the agony and burn I was engulfed in wouldn't allow it. It forced me to go through every second as though it were ten, and the pain seeming to go on for hours without ending. Even as the seconds crept by the pain was nothing anybody could get used to, every single moment hit me harder than the last and time made the pain worse. The thought of death comforted me, but every time I thought of dying I thought back to Harry and Ron.

Suddenly, The pain had hit a new level. It took every single once of my energy focused on not screaming, as the task was becoming more and more difficult and I was losing my justification for not screaming. But as I felt myself nearing a state of unconsciousness, it stopped.

I couldn't move. Every single part of my body was aching. Every single cell cried out for mercy, no more. I opened my eyes as little as I could and the entire world was spinning, voices muffled. I couldn't make out what any of the three voices were saying, and at that moment I blacked out.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

_It was coming after me._

_The devil-like black figure was chasing after me, laughing at me as it ran behind me. Its breathing caused chills to run though my body, and I felt tears flowing out of my eyes as it neared me. Blackness surrounded me, and I glanced behind me to see red eyes glaring back at me and a haunting evil face. I wouldn't scream.  
_

_My hopes soared as I saw Harry and Ron, far away, but in sight. I ran faster still, as I saw light near them. But to my horror, I realized with every step towards them seemed like I was further away, never nearing them. I heard fast breathing behind me, and as I looked one more time, it pounced on top of me without a noise escaping my throat.  
_

I gasped for air as I rolled over, still extremely frightened and hysterical. I continued to move around frantically, until I realized I was inside the dungeon I'd been in for God-knows-how-long. When my adrenaline died, my aching body reminded me what I had gone through. I moaned in pain, and kept telling myself I'd just gone through a horrible nightmare. I just noticed I was drenched in sweat, and I laid back down, breathing very fast.

I heard something move beside me, and when I turned to look, I saw Draco sitting beside me.


	10. Avoidance

A/N: Next chapter reveals more, I promise. ;)

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Ch. 10 - Avoidance

I sat up, painfully, wondering why he was in the room with me, how long he'd been in here. We made eye contact for a moment, then he looked at the floor. It looked like something was bothering him, but I felt it was too quick to assume it was about me. Malfoy was so self-centered, I wouldn't be surprised if he was upset because I'd taken so long to wake or something similar. A pang of annoyance hit me as I remembered Malfoy didn't even try going into the room to attempt to stop the torture I had to go through.

"How did you do it?" he asked me slowly, pronouncing each word. He didn't look at me.

"How did I do what?" I asked, unsure what he was talking about.

"They... They told me you didn't scream," he replied, wincing at the last word.

When I didn't answer, he made eye contact with me again, and this time I broke it off. I looked away, unsure how to answer the question. I did it just to show them I could, just to avoid giving them the pleasure of listening to me in pain. They wanted to cause me agony, but I wasn't going to let them hear it. This didn't sound like a reason Malfoy would be interested in, and I still didn't answer as I found him two inches away from me.

"Why do you care? Why does it seem like you suddenly want to be nearer to me, why do you keep coming back in here?" I asked with honest curiosity.

"If you don't want me in here, I'll leave then," Malfoy said, clearly misunderstanding my question.

"No, I don't want you to leave.. Well, I don't exactly want you to stay either, but..." How could I word this right? I didn't _want_ him in the room with me, but I didn't want him to leave, but I couldn't say either without sounding like I actually liked him or sounding rude. "I can't explain it. Just--ugh, never mind."

Malfoy laughed. He _laughed_. "I get it Granger," he told me, "I get it."

We sat in an awkward silence for a moment, and I decided I might as well take advantedge of the time I had with somebody who knew what was going on. Not that he ever gave me decent answers, but it was always worth a try...

"So," I said. "I'm wondering why you didn't try to stop your parents and Bellatrix from coming in here and putting me through the most horrible pain I've ever experienced in my life." I smiled a fake smile at him.

"Well..." he started. "Okay, here's the story to that."

He was actually going to explain something? Well, that was a first. I was determined to absorb every word he was going to tell me, for this might be the last bit of information I was going to get out of him for a while.

He sighed, then began speaking again. "My father told me he would actually _kill_ me if I seriously tried to stop them from doing whatever they were going to do to you... Honestly, my own father, trying to kill me? I didn't think he would do it, but just to be safe, I didn't try." He paused, and looked at my questioning face. He didn't think Lucius was going to go through with the threat, but the possibility was there. Of course. He would _always_ save his neck before risking himself for somebody else. He was in fact, a Slytherin.

"I found out after the whole thing, though," he continued, unphased by my obvious realization of his selfishness, "that my mother had told him before that he was to leave me be and not kill you as he so wanted to. She knew killing you would upset me greatly [at this he hesitated, it seemed as though he regretted telling me it the second it was said], and, well, to be honest she loves me too much to see me suffering. She was watching you being tortured as a kind of.. Watch-over, if you will. Making sure my father wasn't going to actually kill you. I expect she wasn't involved in the actual curses?"

Instead of answering Malfoy's question, I decided to ask one of my own. "Since when would my death upset you, Malfoy?"

When he looked at me, showing no intentions of answering my question, I continued. "You know, you really don't make any sense. You've always hated me, taken every advantage to make my life as bad as you could make it for years. Then you kidnap me, treat me bad again, leave me in a room here alone. You rape me, and I find out it's your father. Then you're all nice, well, nice for you, and suddenly you don't want me to die. _Ha!_ Never thought I'd hear my death would 'upset' you." I crossed my arms triumphantly. How would he worm his way out of this one?

I wish I hadn't asked. He smiled, and stood up. Oh, no, he wasn't getting away this time. I did the only thing I could think of: I lunged for his right ankle, hurting my sore legs in the process, but I didn't care. He wasn't leaving me with questions _again_, and if killing me would upset him then maybe hurting me would too, and to get me off of him he was going to have to hurt me.

"Granger, what the --- what the _hell _are you doing?" he yelled, surprised by my absolutely pathetic attempt to keep him in the room. Then he laughed at me, again, shaking his head. "You're so weak, Granger, get off me."

As he simply walked forward, my aching hands slipped too easily. "Get your ass BACK HERE!" I screamed.

He turned around, obviously not expecting me to scream at him. "Don't tell me what to do, Mudblood," he said simply.

Crap, he was mad. Great way to get information, I noted mentally.

"Granger, I wasn't leaving anyway. _God_, you overreact so much," he told me, rolling his eyes in the process. He walked next to the door, and picked up the silver tray. Oh. Well, I felt stupid. He was just getting me food, and I attack his foot, looking like an idiot. It was kind of humorous, actually, and I smiled, picturing what had just happened.

"What is wrong with you?" he asked as he sat the tray down next to me, full of fresh food.

"Uhm... You're avoiding my question?" I said hopefully.

"I know I am," he acknowledged.

He admitted to avoiding my question, strange, he'd never done that previously. "Okay, _why_ are you avoiding my question?" I asked.

"You won't like the answer and I won't like your reaction," he replied instantly.

Ugh. Was I ever going to get this out of him? I felt the familiar feeling of frustration flowing through my body. "Why do you have to be so damn stubborn?"

"Why do you have to ask so many questions?"

I snorted.

"Perhaps you've forgotten, but I'm a Malfoy. That's why I'm so stubborn," he said, looking smug.

Out of all the questions he chose to answer, of course, he chose the one I had been sarcastic in asking and not really wanting an answer to. I told him, "You are really getting on my nerves, Malfoy. Do me a favor, and please tell me what this is all about?"

He sighed. "Fine, Granger. I'll tell you. It was about time anyway"


	11. Answers

A/N: Wrote this chapter in a rush because I knew you'd all hate me if I left you with that cliffhanger for too long! Ha. A lot of information packed in a few paragraphs, bear with me, I don't blame you if you have to reread parts of this..  
I would have liked to extend at least part of the mystery in the story so far further, but I couldn't really find a plausible way to do so, in explaining part of it the rest of it just kind of came along. :[ But in good news: FINALLY, ANSWERS! Haha. :P

Anyway, enjoy. :D

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Ch. 11 - Answers

A rush of excitement and anxiety rushed through my body as I heard Malfoy agree to explain. I didn't know how much clarifying why he didn't want me dead would tell me, but I had an odd feeling it was going to explain quite a bit. I sat patiently as I allowed him to run through his thoughts again; I assumed he was trying to think of a way to phrase what he was about to tell me.

"Hermione," he said. I merely looked at him, considering eye contact a good response to him just saying my name. "I need you to agree to something before I explain."

"Fine," I said simply.

"I need you to consider what I'm telling you. I don't want you to hate me more than you do, I don't want you to avoid me, I don't want you to feel sorry for me, absolutely none of that. Most importantly, I just need you to think about it, think it all through." He kept eye contact with me through saying all of this. "Okay?"

"Er.. Sure," I said, not knowing what else to say.

"No, Granger. This is not just 'sure'. I'm serious about this. It's very important to me, and I really do regret taking you here..."

"Okay, Malfoy. Okay. I'll think about it all, I will," I finished, wanting him to start saying what he was going to say as quick as possible. To be completely honest, I was becoming slightly annoyed. I had been left so thirsty for knowledge that any new piece of information was extremely desirable.

"Do you promise?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. Did I hear right, did I _promise_? This seemed childish! Why was he talking like this? I sighed.

"Yes, Malfoy, I promise," I told him with what I hoped was a reassuring tone.

"Okay, good," he said. "Okay.. Uhm.. I really don't know where to start." He paused, and I sighed again, becoming impatient. "Sorry Granger, this is just a little hard for me. You'll understand soon enough. Hmm.. Okay. You're in Gryffindor, I'm in Slytherin. We're suppose to hate each other--"

"And we do," I interrupted. If he was going to tell me this pointless rubbish I already knew... "Do you actually have anything new to tell me?" I asked, again, becoming annoyed and impatient.

He hesitated, and I half-expected him to walk out of the room, but he just continued talking. "If you would allow me to actually talk, maybe you _would_ learn something new." Malfoy cleared his throat, and continued yet again. "See, but that's where the problem arises for me, with us supposed to be hating each other. I don't hate you, Granger, I don't hate you at all. You're a filthy Mudblood, and I, a pureblood. Lion and snake, suppose to always be fighting. But I don't hate you Granger, I don't even dislike you."

He paused, looking at my expressionless face. What was I suppose to say, what expression was I suppose to wearing? Was Malfoy saying that he.. That he actually..

"Anyway," he said, interrupting my thought which I was grateful as I had no intention of finishing it, "I've treated you like shit every second I could because of that. We're supposed to hate each other, as I said before, pureblood and Mudblood. Gryffindor and Slytherin. We were designed to live differently, to be different, to loathe each other. I did my best to ensure this by treating you horribly, and if my father, more blood-obsessed than many, found out that we were not enemies.. He wouldn't be very happy, would he, his own son, not loathing a Mudblood?"

He paused yet again, looking at my reaction to his words. The memory of the rape came back again to haunt me, thinking of Lucius, of him not being 'very happy'...

Malfoy looked at the ground as he spoke again. "There is no point in avoiding the next thing I must tell you before anything else... You see, Granger, I like you, quite a bit. I have been insanely infatuated with you ever since fourth year, but I could confide in no one, seeing as I'm suppose to hate you, especially to please Father. What would the Slytherin House think of me after finding out I fancied a Gryffindor?" He shook his head, then continued, "I've had to go through so much, being so attracted to you. I planned on telling you so many different times, but most of the times I simply chickened out, walking the other direction. The other times I came up with some smartass comment, chickening out at the last second.. So here you are, in front of me. Not even Crabbe and Goyle knew what I was doing, bringing you here, so naturally I still had to act like an ass towards you in front of them: I couldn't take a chance, even stupid as they are..

"Once my father found out you were here, he demanded an answer as to why. Even though I'm skilled at Occlumency, I was so emotional at the time I couldn't clear my mind as thoroughly as needed and of course, my father found out why you were here. He then proceeded to rape you acting as me, telling me what I wanted was no longer achievable, which I imagine after all this talking you understand what he meant."

When I didn't answer again, he kept on with his explanation. "You were brought here just for me to simply tell you how I felt about you. This is the only room of this house that my parents would be sure not to enter because of its filth and that had a lock on the outside of it [I couldn't have you just leave without an answer], I wanted to make sure you could stay here for at least a day, thinking things over. That's why you've had to endure the unpleasantness of this room. But anyway.

While my hatred for you was indeed fake, Father wanted to make absolutely sure that _you_ totally hated _me_ so we would never be together. He thought by raping you, you thinking it was me, you would never believe the truth if I told you because of two reasons: You still thought I hated you so raping you would be justified, and because of the pain you were going through he assumed would be easiest to blame me for because you saw me physically raping you, and a memory of _me_ would be the one to haunt you, not of my father. That's what I meant before when I told you my father said I could no longer do what I planned on doing, which wasn't exactly a plan, really, I never expected you to return the feelings, but you get the idea...

"Bellatrix and my father offered to kill you because it would rid my temptation of wanting to be with you if you somehow did return the feelings, which I obviously denied profusely. My mother wouldn't let them kill you anyway, like I said before, she couldn't bear to see me suffering. He was furious, however. I'd never seen him that angry in my entire life, and he saw it best to let it out on you, he thought all Mudbloods deserved to be tortured anyway.. Well, that about sums it up, I suppose.." he finished. "Do you.. Do you have anything to say?" he asked cautiously.

I was looking at the floor, completely bewildered by what he just explained. This was absolutely insane, but his explanation definitely fit, but how could I believe Malfoy had feelings for me after truly acting like he loathed everything about me for over 6 years..? Even if there wasn't a lump in my throat preventing me from saying anything, I couldn't. What could I say to Malfoy after _that_?

"I didn't expect a reply immediately.. It's fine, really. Granger, just, as you promised, think about what I told you. Okay? Don't crawl away from the idea immediately, please, think about everything.. I'll leave you, now, as I'm sure you want me to," he said quietly.

I didn't know what to think. What was I suppose to?

He got up to leave, and I didn't try to stop him. I heard the door close shut, and I began to cry, not knowing what to do.


End file.
